Conversations and Failed Pumpkinery

The pumpkin I carved this year isn’t very good. It looks pretty cool in the daylight, but it doesn’t look very good with a candle in it. Last time I carved a pumpkin, it was a really neat owl, but this year, I tried to do the Colorado flag:


I didn’t even take a picture of my pumpkin. If I painted it, it might look better, but I honestly just didn’t think it through all the way. Rob carved the pi symbol into his.

Rob also taught me how to make glasses out of beer bottles. I managed to do it once very slowly, but he went much faster without my “help”. And he brewed this incredible pumpkin spice beer.

Over the past few days, I’ve recognized and appreciate how much my boyfriend does. I’ve also realized how much time he needs in order to accomplish his tasks, but I didn’t see this without some help.

On Tuesday we had a long-needed conversation about our relationship, and immediately afterwards I felt all my anxiety disappear. The central theme of our talk was that I’ve been investing so much time into him and our relationship that I haven’t had time for myself. On top of that, I’ve been absorbing all of Rob’s time, making it difficult for him to be himself and do all his work. So now we hang out a little less, and I read a lot more.

I forgot how much I love books. Since Tuesday, I read the final books in Amy Kathleen Ryan’s Sky Chasers series. A lot of my friends had read them in middle school, but I hadn’t even heard of them until I took an adolescent literature class last year. The storyline is fascinating, and the ending isn’t at all disappointing. I’m planning on finishing David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day this week and starting the book my mom just gave me. I’ve even been feeling creatively inspired to write more and do mosaics. I’ll take a picture of one when something turns out nicely.

My long-term life plan may have changed since I last wrote for this, too. After talking with Rob, I realized how young I am, and how far ahead I am. Most people aren’t even close to graduating at 21. So I’m going to apply to business school, get an MBA, and open a store where I can do what I truly love to do.

It will be a bookstore, and I will begin my stock with books donated to me by everyone I know. But the books certainly wouldn’t be the profit, so I would make it into a cafe and bar, serving coffee and tea day-long and adding beer and wine to the menu in the afternoon. I would hold book clubs, and I would host creative writing workshops. Hopefully I could convince people to read some nights for entertainment.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’m excited. We’ll see what happens, but whatever does will surely be wonderful.